In response to Bluestockings (Creative writing club, Miranda House) Prompt:

“Drunkenly, you accidentally pour vodka in your pet’s water bowl. As a result, your pet breaks the number one rule: Do not speak to your owner.”

There was one condition – the piece was supposed to be light hearted, and not dark/sad.



Would you think me crazy if I told you,

That this story I recite is true?
It was one hell of a crazy night,
Mother and I had just had another fight.
I had stormed out in a fit,
I couldn’t think even for a bit.

Returned late night, with a crazy headache
I had finished two bottles, for gods’ sake.
Now you’d say I was hallucinating,
But I swear, I could hear it sing.

“Woah am I that drunk” I asked myself
But that looks like a little elf.
“What are you doing here dobby?”
“Oh you dumbo, I’m your doggy”

Oh and then I couldn’t stop my laughter,
I always drink too much, regretting after.
“You’re Timmy you say?
Haha” – I push the thought away.

“You interrupted my little song, master”
“Oh have I called upon disaster?”
That was a futile attempt at sarcasm,
For this creature had its own chasm.

I have a story to tell you, it said,
All I could utter was, “okay, go ahead”
Because even if I was only dreaming,
This seemed to be rather interesting.

The dog then told me that it was the Lord,
The other dogs worshipped it like I worshipped my God.
It told me his world had but one rule:
Never speak to your owner (apart from don’t drool)

Then why are you talking to me, I questioned
Because sir, by your spirit I was summoned.
“When?” I asked wondering about my supernatural power,
“When you mixed your Vodka in my water”

Ah – the things that elixir can do!
I waited for Timmy to then continue.
He told me how he was elected,
To be the Lord he was selected.

“They checked the poop that each dropped,
And the most brown in colour always topped.”
“Is that why you insisted to poop in the garden?”
“Yes – they could come and check then.”

“Oh and I thought you had a crush on that bitch —
You stared at her like she was the Lilo to your stitch”
Timmy then just looked at me like I was crazy,
“Honestly, master, let’s just confine to your human world – this stupidity.”

“We care about more than just that.
Oh and time’s running, final point– I’m getting fat
Please change the brand of the food you’re giving me,
And we need many more walks, don’t you agree?”

With that Timmy simply vanished
There was no point to what had just finished
But do you think me crazy when I tell you,
That this story I recite is true?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s