#19 Lullaby

If there’s someone I know as beautiful as this poem, it’s Kavya herself.

Matched Perceptions

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The lullaby you used to sing

Still echoes in my ears.

It sticks with me on nights when I wake up terrified

From a nightmare too eerie than any Annabelle sequel

And caress my hair,

It’s touch calming down every cell of my body.

And when on nights I become too scared

By the unusual howls coming from across the road,

Like some magical soothingness, your lullaby

Continues to straighten the creases on my forehead

With the love that poured from your voice.

The syllables fall from your lips like pearls,

Weave a necklace of confidence

And hang it around my neck.

The song you used to sing has been stuck in my mind

Like the strongest adhesive

Simultaneously joining the torn pieces of my soul.

And when on some nights I sleep well,

I dream of you,

Rocking me to sleep in your lap

Singing the lullaby you used…

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Sunrise

I managed to wake up today
I got out of bed
Fighting all of those forces
Holding me down
Every morning

I mustered the courage up today
I put up the window blinds
And I finally let the light
Illuminate my fears

I can’t deny the nightmares
But after I had screamed enough
I also visited the beach
And there I spoke to people
Even if they weren’t real.

I broke the chains
That tied me down to the bed
I got rid of the excruciating pain
Physical, mental
That wouldn’t let me get up.

There was a sunrise today.
There was light.
I managed to wake up today.
I got out of bed.

Fairy Tale

My heart flutters
Like it is supposed to
I was told so –
In my bedtime stories
And fairy tales.

You look at me
A clichéd damsel in distress
Waiting for you
To come, be my saviour

For if it weren’t for you
And for fairy god mother who made a shoe
That would help you find me
I would have died by choking on a damn apple

I smile and look good
Because opinions don’t suit a princess
And mumma always called me a “princess”
But princesses need kisses to survive.

Because men are frogs and beasts
Beauties are supposed to find good in
And I would still be asleep
If it wasn’t for my knight-in-shining-armor.

I talk to a freaking mirror (or today, instagram)
For validation of my good looks
And my long, silky hair
Are requirements if I want to find love.

Don’t get me wrong –
I love pretty men
And happy-ever-afters
And endings where my favourite character manages to live

But I would like to write those endings myself
And these won’t involve a shoe
Or seven short men
And definitely not a kiss

I am my own fairy tale.

Grey

Grey walls, grey-er mood
A final goodbye
Tears down your cheeks
And you hide your face
Fake smiles all around
But I heard them whisper
“We did all we could”
The best kiss for me
The final kiss for you
Heart broken
Machines making me breathe
The final few times
Gorgeous men and beautiful women
Hovering
They are people of science
They tried to save
They did all they could
Opened me up
Pumped
Ingested
But I gave up
I gave up
I let go

I love you.

Catastrophe.

 

Throats, dry.
Chests, burning.
Breathing…. impossible.

We are living the catastrophe we imagined.

The glossy textbook pages shouted warnings
Conventions and conferences
Pamphlets
And the internet all reached out
While Mother Earth suffered and cried in anguish

We are living the catastrophe we imagined.

I heard, I heard, I heard
I heard
And that’s all I did

I didn’t use the A.C. less
I didn’t carpool when I could
I saw those leaves burning
I saw
And that’s all I did

They taught me when I was a kid
Each one, plant one
I learnt and mugged and wrote in answer sheets
I wrote in answer sheets
And that’s all I did.

We are living the catastrophe we imagined.

Eyes, watering.
Skin, breaking.
Breathing…. impossible.

We are living the catastrophe we imagined.

We debated over who did it
You first, I later
We ran behind development
Important, yes, but at what cost?

We are living the catastrophe we imagined.

2012 didn’t happen
2017 did happen
I watched the movies
I watched, I watched, I watched
And that’s all I did.

I was a kid
When I was last an environment activist
Then I grew up
You grew up

Life has been too fast-paced
To stop
To think
To do our part
To take a break
And remember
We would die.

We would die.

The next generation
Is not going to take care of it
You are not leaving a planet
For your kids
The way they asked you to worry
There is going to be
No planet
For your kids.

You are living the catastrophe you created.
We are living the catastrophe we created.

Elixir.

Would you think me crazy if I told you,

That this story I recite is true?
It was one hell of a crazy night,
Mother and I had just had another fight.
I had stormed out in a fit,
I couldn’t think even for a bit.

Returned late night, with a crazy headache
I had finished two bottles, for gods’ sake.
Now you’d say I was hallucinating,
But I swear, I could hear it sing.

“Woah am I that drunk” I asked myself
But that looks like a little elf.
“What are you doing here dobby?”
“Oh you dumbo, I’m your doggy”

Oh and then I couldn’t stop my laughter,
I always drink too much, regretting after.
“You’re Timmy you say?
Haha” – I push the thought away.

“You interrupted my little song, master”
“Oh have I called upon disaster?”
That was a futile attempt at sarcasm,
For this creature had its own chasm.

I have a story to tell you, it said,
All I could utter was, “okay, go ahead”
Because even if I was only dreaming,
This seemed to be rather interesting.

The dog then told me that it was the Lord,
The other dogs worshipped it like I worshipped my God.
It told me his world had but one rule:
Never speak to your owner (apart from don’t drool)

Then why are you talking to me, I questioned
Because sir, by your spirit I was summoned.
“When?” I asked wondering about my supernatural power,
“When you mixed your Vodka in my water”

Ah – the things that elixir can do!
I waited for Timmy to then continue.
He told me how he was elected,
To be the Lord he was selected.

“They checked the poop that each dropped,
And the most brown in colour always topped.”
“Is that why you insisted to poop in the garden?”
“Yes – they could come and check then.”

“Oh and I thought you had a crush on that bitch —
You stared at her like she was the Lilo to your stitch”
Timmy then just looked at me like I was crazy,
“Honestly, master, let’s just confine to your human world – this stupidity.”

“We care about more than just that.
Oh and time’s running, final point– I’m getting fat
Please change the brand of the food you’re giving me,
And we need many more walks, don’t you agree?”

With that Timmy simply vanished
There was no point to what had just finished
But do you think me crazy when I tell you,
That this story I recite is true?